Why Resilience Matters for Everyone

Resilience is important, and it matters for everyone.

You are probably somewhat familiar with this term already.

Resilience is a capacity (or a virtue) that helps us to handle challenges and bounce back from adversity.

What is especially interesting about resilience is that it is documented by research.

And research suggests that resilience is a character trait that anyone can cultivate.

You can read more about this here: Resilience.

Now, to be clear, some people misuse the concept of resilience.

For instance sometimes people tells folks who are suffering to be resilient. And what suffering folks really need is compassion.

Or sometimes, people will say things like “Kids are really resilient”.

And then they use this fact as an excuse to minimize the suffering children sometimes face.

Both these uses of the concept of resilience are inappropriate.

Resilience is never an excuse for a lack of compassion or responsibility.

Nevertheless, although people sometimes misuse the concept of resilience, I still think it’s a really helpful concept.

And here’s why.

Since I was very young, I have been fascinated by people who suffer hardships, failure, and significant disappointment.

And yet they go on to survive and thrive in spite of such hardship.

(By the way, one of the people who first introduced me to the idea of resilience is my mom who suffered a traumatic car accident before I was born.

You can read more about this here: About My Mom: Paraplegia, Swimming, and Resilience.)

People who are able to survive and thrive even in the midst of adversity give me hope.

I think of resilience as a character trait or power that allows us to withstand the storms of life. This is much like how a tree is able to remain strong despite the storms it endures. (This picture is by Simon Wilkes, courtesy of Unsplash.)

That’s because I, like most people, want to have a good, meaningful, and joyful life. I want to live an enchanted life, in fact.

However, I also know that really difficult things can happen in life.

When I was younger, I sometimes worried that something would happen that would rob me of my ability to find joy and enchantment in life.

So, learning that I can be resilient in the face of hardship was incredibly helpful.

I define resilience as “ the skill that allows people to pursue their potential, to engage confidently in the growth process, to welcome challenge and adversity, and to flourish in all areas of their life.”*

Resilience has taught me that when difficult things happen, those difficult things are not the end of my story.

Resilience taught me that how I respond to difficult things matters just as much, and even more, than the events that happen.

And I know that what I tell myself about my purpose and my worth as a person matters much more than the negative ways other people sometimes behave towards me. (All of us face unkind people or bullies in our life, after all).

There is a group of philosophers named the Stoics. And the Stoics argue that there are a lot of things in life, namely external events, that we cannot control.

However, there are some things we can control.

Namely, we can control at least some of our internal responses to life events and the stories we tell ourselves about them.

For instance, Epictetus , a famous Stoic writes,

“Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions.

Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.”

Cultivating resilience is one way I practice the stoic wisdom of controlling what I can control.

It helps me realize that while I cannot control hardship and adversity, I can control the way I respond to it.

I want to respond to adversity in a way that helps me remember that I am worthy, capable, connected, and that I am called to an adventurous a life.

I believe these things about you, too.

I don’t want to tell you to be resilient if you are going through a hard time. I want to wish you compassion instead.

However, I do want to tell you that I believe you are also worthy, capable, connected, and called to adventure.

And I want to tell you that the more you cultivate ideas like this, the more they help you be resilient, when you are ready to be resilient.

By the way, you probably noticed that I recently changed the name of my blog to Resilient and More.

I made this change because I realized that what I really like writing about is about how we can all rise to challenges, bounce back from adversity, and thrive in the midst of it.

(My blog was originally called Love is Stronger. And I still believe Love is Stronger.

In fact, Love is one of the virtues that helps us be resilient and more.)

I want to help people be resilient. And I want to help them be more than resilient. I want to help folks be confident, courageous, and joyful.

I think we need this kind of hope more than ever.

We are experiencing one of the most contentious political times in our nation’s history politically. (I am writing in the U.S.)

And we also face a lot of global challenges as well such as climate change and some recent increases in global conflict.

Difficult issues like this can feel overwhelming, and it can feel like we will never get through them.

But I believe we can get through them and come out stronger and better on the other side.

I just want to remind you that if you are suffering today, please show yourself compassion, first of all.

But please also remember that the things that happen to us are never the end of our story.

What is inside of us is more powerful than what happens outside of us.

We’ve got what it takes. We’ve got this together.

By the way, I mentioned compassion several times in this post. You might like to read more about compassion here: The Ethics of Compassion.

Also, I mentioned these four ideas: We are worthy, capable, connected, and called to adventure. I call these ideas the Four Basic Truths. And you can take a free course on these ideas here: The Four Basic Truths.

*****

If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing on social media.

I also invite you to follow my blog by hitting the Follow button at the right or bottom of this page.

*****

Works Cited

*Johnson, S. and C. Cook. (2019). The #1 skill all students need: resilience. Georgetown College Teaching and Learning Center. White paper.

You are probably somewhat familiar with this term already.

Resilience is a capacity (or a virtue) that helps us to handle challenges and bounce back from adversity.

What is especially interesting about resilience is that it is documented by research.

And research suggests that resilience is a character trait that anyone can cultivate.

You can read more about this here: Resilience.

Now, to be clear, some people misuse the concept of resilience.

For instance sometimes people tells folks who are suffering to be resilient. And what suffering folks really need is compassion.

Or sometimes, people will say things like “Kids are really resilient”.

And then they use this fact as an excuse to minimize the suffering children sometimes face.

Both these uses of the concept of resilience are inappropriate.

Resilience is never an excuse for a lack of compassion or responsibility.

Nevertheless, although people sometimes misuse the concept of resilience, I still think it’s a really helpful concept.

And here’s why.

Since I was very young, I have been fascinated by people who suffer hardships, failure, and significant disappointment.

And yet they go on to survive and thrive in spite of such hardship.

(By the way, one of the people who first introduced me to the idea of resilience is my mom who suffered a traumatic car accident before I was born.

You can read more about this here: About My Mom: Paraplegia, Swimming, and Resilience.)

People who are able to survive and thrive even in the midst of adversity give me hope.

I think of resilience as a character trait or power that allows us to withstand the storms of life. This is much like how a tree is able to remain strong despite the storms it endures. (This picture is by Simon Wilkes, courtesy of Unsplash.)

That’s because I, like most people, want to have a good, meaningful, and joyful life. I want to live an enchanted life, in fact.

However, I also know that really difficult things can happen in life.

When I was younger, I sometimes worried that something would happen that would rob me of my ability to find joy and enchantment in life.

So, learning that I can be resilient in the face of hardship was incredibly helpful.

I define resilience as “ the skill that allows people to pursue their potential, to engage confidently in the growth process, to welcome challenge and adversity, and to flourish in all areas of their life.”*

Resilience has taught me that when difficult things happen, those difficult things are not the end of my story.

Resilience taught me that how I respond to difficult things matters just as much, and even more, than the events that happen.

And I know that what I tell myself about my purpose and my worth as a person matters much more than the negative ways other people sometimes behave towards me. (All of us face unkind people or bullies in our life, after all).

There is a group of philosophers named the Stoics. And the Stoics argue that there are a lot of things in life, namely external events, that we cannot control.

However, there are some things we can control.

Namely, we can control at least some of our internal responses to life events and the stories we tell ourselves about them.

For instance, Epictetus, a famous Stoic writes,

“Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions.

Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.”

Cultivating resilience is one way I practice the stoic wisdom of controlling what I can control.

It helps me realize that while I cannot control hardship and adversity, I can control the way I respond to it.

I want to respond to adversity in a way that helps me remember that I am worthy, capable, connected, and that I am called to an adventurous a life.

I believe these things about you, too.

I don’t want to tell you to be resilient if you are going through a hard time. I want to wish you compassion instead.

However, I do want to tell you that I believe you are also worthy, capable, connected, and called to adventure.

And I want to tell you that the more you cultivate ideas like this, the more they help you be resilient, when you are ready to be resilient.

By the way, you probably noticed that I recently changed the name of my blog to Resilient and More.

I made this change because I realized that what I really like writing about is about how we can all rise to challenges, bounce back from adversity, and thrive in the midst of it.

(My blog was originally called Love is Stronger. And I still believe Love is Stronger.

In fact, Love is one of the virtues that helps us be resilient and more.)

I want to help people be resilient. And I want to help them be more than resilient. I want to help folks be confident, courageous, and joyful.

I think we need this kind of hope more than ever.

We are experiencing one of the most contentious political times in our nation’s history politically. (I am writing in the U.S.)

And we also face a lot of global challenges as well such as climate change and some recent increases in global conflict.

Difficult issues like this can feel overwhelming, and it can feel like we will never get through them.

But I believe we can get through them and come out stronger and better on the other side.

I just want to remind you that if you are suffering today, please show yourself compassion, first of all.

But please also remember that the things that happen to us are never the end of our story.

What is inside of us is more powerful than what happens outside of us.

We’ve got what it takes. We’ve got this together.

By the way, I mentioned compassion several times in this post. You might like to read more about compassion here: The Ethics of Compassion.

Also, I mentioned these four ideas: We are worthy, capable, connected, and called to adventure. I call these ideas the Four Basic Truths. And you can take a free course on these ideas here: The Four Basic Truths.

*****

If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing on social media.

I also invite you to follow my blog by hitting the Follow button at the right or bottom of this page.

Works Cited

*Johnson, S. and C. Cook. (2019). The #1 skill all students need: resilience. Georgetown College Teaching and Learning Center. White paper.

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For instance, Epictetus , a famous Stoic writes,