I am increasingly convinced that self-love rightly understood can protect us from authoritarianism and domination: it’s fierce love.
Feeling Nervous About Self-Love
Most of us grow up feeling nervous about self-love, and this is understandable. We learn growing up that selfishness is wrong (and certainly this is true), and that we should think of others instead of ourselves (which is partially right and partially wrong). As a result, many of us feel deeply uncomfortable about the idea of loving ourselves.
Perhaps we are worried that if we love ourselves, we will become self-absorbed, egocentric, and narcissistic. It is no wonder we worry about this. Almost all of the bad and horrible things in the world come from these character problems.
All of us have the potential to be selfish. Being selfish is pretty easy. After all, all we have to do is always think solely about our own desires, needs, wishes, and dreams.
And all we have to do is never think about anyone else or never think about how our actions might affect them. Selfishness is often our default setting, and considering others’ feelings and wishes is a skill we actually have to learn.
Our natural slide to selfishness rightly makes many of us wary of self-love.
However, there is a difference between pathological and healthy self-love, and it is important to know the difference.
The Difference Between Pathological and Healthy Self-Love
Pathological self-love is destructive and builds walls between people.
But healthy self-love is healing, and it can strengthen our spirits against authoritarianism and domination.
Healthy self-love not only allows us to love ourselves well; it allows us to love others well, too.
What exactly is healthy self-love? Healthy self-love honors and nurtures that which is beautiful and good in all of us: Our Light. Everyone human being has this Light.
Our Light is the truest, most real thing about us, so when we honor our Light, we love what is good, true, and real. This kind of self-love does not lead to selfishness and narcissism.
Selfishness and narcissism are rooted in self-deception, lies, and delusion—namely, they are rooted in the idea that we are the center of the universe and more important than everyone else. This is false self-love.
When we practice true self-love and honor our Light, it leads to love more good, true, and real things.
Namely, we honor the wisdom, love, compassion, and creativity in ourselves and others, and we seek to make these grow in ourselves and in others in every way possible.
How True Self-Love Works
True self-love does not lead us to be more selfish. It actually leads us to be more loving and to connect with others because we love the Light in others that we also see in ourselves. We want to protect, cultivate, and nurture it.
This kind of self-love acknowledges that we all have a dark side of us. It is not naïve. But it also knows that if we focus on that and not the Light in us, we miss the potential we have to change our lives and the world for the better.
Julia Cameron expresses this well when she writes,
“We know right action. We know wisdom. We know divine intent. The world is safe in our keeping. We are loving. We are wise. We are good. We can change our world for the better.”
This post fills me with sunshine! Self love is a superpower!! ? Do you mind if I reblog this one, too?
Roda, I am so happy you liked it! I accidentally hit publish before I included pictures. It is now fixed, and pictures are included. Please feel free to reblog. I would be honored.
Great! Thank you! I so enjoy your posts!?
That is such a wonderful compliment! I enjoy yours so much, too! I am really pleased we met.
Me too!
<3
Reblogged this on Growing Self and commented:
I always look forward to Shelly’s magical posts and whimsical artwork! Today, Shelly shares the importance of Self-Love! Self-Love is a superpower!
As Always, thank you for sharing your gifts, Shelly!
Love Yourself…Embrace Yourself…Just Be You…
Roda
I can understand why Roda reblogged this. It would be something she would have love to have written. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much, Mr. Mel!