Life can be painful and traumatic, and we all carry wounds in our hearts from difficult situations, relationships, and events in our life. These wounds can make it difficult for us to feel confident, to bounce back from difficult times, and to pursue our potential.
What we need in times like this is unconditional love.
Unconditional love helps us to believe that we can keep going, even when life is hard and we feel bad about ourselves or like we have failed.
We cannot make other people love and accept us unconditionally, but we can love ourselves unconditionally. We don’t have to feel love for ourselves all the time to love ourselves unconditionally. Rather, we develop unconditional love for ourselves by adopting specific viewpoints and practices.
When we do this, we show kindness to ourselves, and this helps to heal our heart. Here are ten things you can do to show yourself kindness.
One: Recognize that your worth is not tied to your performance. It is tied to your dignity that is present in your Wise Self. Honor your Wise Self. You can read more about this here.
Two: Listen to your emotions and dreams. You have them for a reason. They are signals about areas in which you need to heal or grow or protect yourself or explore the world. You can read about this here and here.
Three: Stick up for yourself and resist bullies and boundary-crashers. You deserve to show yourself protection and care, just like you would a good friend. You can read about this here.
Five: Give yourself gifts and take yourself on outing like you would a friend or loved one. Sometimes we shower everyone else except ourselves with gifts and love. You deserve these beautiful gifts, just like your loved one’s deserve them. It is not selfish to give yourself beautiful things and, in fact, doing so can give you the energy and emotional reserves you need to show others more love.
Six: Give yourself at least basic physical care like you would for a plant or pet. The most important way you can give yourself basic physical care is to give yourself time to breathe deeply. You can read more about this here.
Seven: Move your body, not to lose weight, but because it makes you feel more powerful. You can read more about this here.
Eight: Take care of your emotional wounds. Everyone has emotional wounds from the painful, terrifying, and confusing times of life. Just like physical wounds, our emotional wounds need care and healing. When we don’t take time to heal them, they can fester and become infected, which hurts us and sometimes other people in our life. Taking time to tend to our emotional wounds is one of the wisest things we can do. You can read more about this here
Nine: Face problems areas in your life in which you need to change. You can read more about this here.
Ten: Act like your own best coach or teacher by 1) breaking your problems down into small, manageable steps; 2) by encouraging yourself with loving thoughts and actions; 3) by believing in your natural problem solving capacities; and 4) by removing blocks to your progress. You can read more about this here.
Conclusion: Why Kindness is so Important
Living can be so painful sometimes, and we inevitably pick up some wounds along the way. Important people in our lives can help us a great deal by showing us unconditional kindness and encouragement, but the most important kindness in our life is the kindness we show ourselves.
We are the closest person to us. Generally speaking, we understand our wounds and our needs better than anyone else, and we also know how to meet them better than anyone else, although sometimes it takes a while to figure it out.
Practicing kindness to ourselves is one of the best practices for healing our wounds and creating a stable foundation for a peaceful life of integrity.
Peace to you, Friend.
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 There is no doubt that fear and self-hate can motivate us to change for a while. Fear and self-hate cause us pain, and no one wants to be in constant pain, so we often change in the short-term to stop the pain. But eventually, trying to change through fear and self-hate bring us so much pain, that we develop new destructive habits or sink back into old ones in order to soothe the fear and self-hate we fear. This causes a vicious cycle. If you are wondering how to escape or break such a cycle, please keep reading above.