Step One: Recognizing perfectionism and self-hate.
This post is the second one in a series about overcoming self-hate and connecting with love. You can read an introduction to the series here.
Self-Hate and Self-Love
If we want to understand how to overcome self-hate and connect with love, it is helpful to know what self-hate is. Self-hate is often an automatic response to an inability to love ourselves. People in general are pretty bad at loving themselves authentically.
Certainly we are often good at being selfish, narcissistic, and egocentric, but these are not forms of authentic self-love.
Recognizing self-hate can help us learn to practice healthy self-love.
Authentic self-love is the ability to show ourselves respect, kindness, compassion. This helps us to flourish by nurturing the good in us (the Wise Self) and by healing the wounded and diseased parts of us (the Wounded Self). We all have both of these parts.
Authentic self-love heals both our self and others because it teaches us to value the unconditional dignity and worth of human beings.
This automatically leads us to honor the dignity and worth of every other human being.