We all have those days in which we don’t feel good enough. If you are feeling that way today, I sympathize with you. I feel that way, too, sometimes.
Sometimes we feel like we have a list like this hanging over our head.
One of the things that causes us to feel this way is a trap I call Special People Thinking.
The Special People Thinking Trap
When we fall into the Special People Thinking trap, we believe that there are two kinds of people: special people who are worthy and everyone else who is not worthy.
And we have very specific rules about who those special people are. Special People tend to be perfect and live perfect lives. Special People look perfect; act perfectly; and win big.
We all have our own idea of what Special People are like, but we might believe they are very rich; or they are at the top of their field; or desired by everyone; or that they are gorgeous; or that they are geniuses; or that they are very thin; or that they are really godly; or that they are jacked; or that they are extremely talented in some way.
When we fall into the Special People Thinking trap, we think that Special People meet some external standard of perfection and that they are worthy because of this. We also usually believe that we do not meet this external standard of perfection and so we are not worthy.
Special People Thinking is a Bummer
Special People Thinking can make us feel miserable and worthless. By convincing us that we are not worthy, it makes us feel like we do not deserve good things and that we will not have meaningful life.
The good news is that there is an antidote to Special People Thinking.
You could call it Intrinsic Worth Thinking, or, as I will call it, an Intrinsic Worth Mindset.
When you have an Intrinsic Worth Mindset, it helps you realize that you are worthy right now and that the more you act from your intrinsic worth, the more you share your unique goodness with the world.
The more you do this, the more you experience good things in your life and feel like you have a meaningful life.
Here are two examples from nature that may help you realize your Intrinsic Worth:
One: Every creature in the world has a unique goodness. For example, think about lions. There is no such thing as unworthy lions. There are just lions being lions. When lions do their thing, they share their unique goodness with the world, which is their power, majesty, and grace.
A lion can temporarily lose these qualities if it gets sick or hurt, but this does not mean the lion is unworthy. It just means it is sick and needs care and rest so it can be well and express its unique goodness.
Two: Consider roses. No one kind of rose is more worthy than the other. Rather, there are different kinds of roses, and they all share their unique goodness with the world, which is a special kind of beauty.
Roses can get blight or some other kind of fungus. They can also wilt or fail to thrive from lack of water or sunlight. This doesn’t mean they are unworthy. It means they are sick and need care so they can be well and express their unique goodness.
Humans Have Unique Goodness
Just like lions and roses and every other plant and animal in the world, all people, including you , have their own unique goodness, which they express when they act morally through their unique personality, style, and talents.
A human being can become sick physically, emotionally, or spiritually (i.e. morally). When we become sick in one of these ways, it can become harder to express our unique human goodness. But this doesn’t mean we are unworthy. It means we need to care for our body, emotions, or spirit so we can become well and share our unique goodness with the world.
Why is It Hard for Us to Have an Intrinsic Worth Mindset?
Unfortunately, it can be hard to develop an Intrinsic Worth Mindset because the dark side of human society is very competitive and aggressive and usually operates by Special People Thinking.
We can combat these influences by identifying Special People Thinking in our own thoughts and in social influences we encounter. We also develop an Intrinsic Worth Mindset by 1) remembering that we have our own unique good like every other creature in the world; and 2) by caring for our body, emotions, and spirit so we can express our unique goodness more easily.
In case you have forgotten or no one has told you for a while: You are worthy. You have your own unique good to share with the world through your personality, style, and talents expressed in a moral way. It’s awesome. Go you.
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Here are some questions for you to ponder today:
1. Where do you see Special People Thinking in your own thoughts or in social messages you receive? How could you minimize these messages in your life or combat them with an Intrinsic Worth Mindset?
2. What are three good and unique things you share with the world when you act from good intentions and a good heart? These things are probably part of your unique goodness. What is one way you can you share more of these things with the world?
3. What is one way you can care for your body, mind or spirit today so that you can strengthen your ability to share your unique goodness with the world?
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